An article I did a while back for Mental Floss got re-posted today. It reminded me how perfect this article was for me to write. My two great loves: history and food. Help the cause if you like it too.
An article I did a while back for Mental Floss got re-posted today. It reminded me how perfect this article was for me to write. My two great loves: history and food. Help the cause if you like it too.
My friend Dan’s music website, IndabaMusic, is having a great remix contest. If you’re musically inclined you should enter. The grand prize is a chance to record a song with The Roots.
Every answer it spits out is “sexy cat,” unless you check that your body type is “overweight.” In that case, it just spits out “cat.”
I toyed with the idea of building a helpful costume idea generator but then I remembered that it wouldn’t matter. Girls were just going to go as sexy cats anyway. Or regular cats if they’re overweight.
WhiredWhine
Wired gave WhiteWhine a nice shout out in its playlist section. Thanks, Wired! I’m rich!
Like the sardonic, self-hating cousin of the already sardonic and self-hating Stuff White People Like, White Whine is a daily blog that airs the absurd gripes of the down-but-far-from-out (upper-middle-class vanilla beans). Wired faves include numbers 268: “Um, it’s Tuesday and the This American Life podcast hasn’t updated yet. Hellooo?” and 276: “I need a day to catch up on my sleep after vacation.”
For the record - and since this comes up whenever I talk to someone about WhiteWhine - WhiteWhine predates StuffWhitePeopleLike. It suppose it’s petty to point this out since SWPL’s popularity is infinitely greater, but when you don’t have a six-figure book deal, you hold onto the little things.
In other news, can I have a six-figure book deal?
This article made me consider the effect of Osama Bin Laden actually endorsing either Obama or McCain within the next two weeks. Talk about suddenly changing everything!
This article made me think about if there have ever been multiple nip slips at the same party.
Ricky and I are different people…
Last night SNL re-ran their season premiere hosted by Michael Phelps. As I had nothing better to do, I watched it again. And that’s when I noticed something amazing. During the monologue which was peppered with cast/celebrity appearances, I spotted a celeb who wasn’t part of the fun. He was just sitting in the crowd near William Shatner, laughing along with the rest of crowd as if he were just a regular person! Who is that celebrity, you ask? None other than my favorite celebrity chef/food show host, Guy Fieri!
I know it’s only half his head, but he’s got a pretty distinctive look about him. I love this dude for a few reasons.
- His sense of style - from his wardrobe of brightly colored bowling shirts to his hair/facial hair style - is straight out of 1998. It’s as if someone plucked him right from this video and transported him to modern times.
- His show, “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” is one of the funniest shows on TV if you know how to read Guy’s secret language. The deal is he drives around and eats at dumpy restaurants that are known for something or other (huge omelets, homemade turkeys, etc.). He always stands in the kitchen while the chef cooks him food and tells him what’s going on, and this is where the secret language comes in. While Guy is eating the food he will do one of two things.
- If he likes the food he will make an outlandish statement, such as, “Bro…I could eat ten pounds of this hash. Seriously, bro, this is nice. UGH! Bro, this hash is bombastic!”
- If he doesn’t like the food he will begin to name the various ingredients in it, as so: “OK…I’m getting that onion and some pepper. Yup…Oh, there’s some of that salt and the chicken broth…OK, OK…I’m getting some of that bacon, too!”
Other than that he is an unabashed pitchman, hawking TGI Fridays food with a straight face (we all have to make a living!). I post this here because I want more than anything for this Guy to become seriously famous. My reasons are selfish, naturally, as I feel I can do a very good impression of him and would like to showcase that to the world. I can’t do it now because he’s just a cable TV show host unknown by the non-fat population of this land, but such an outlandish man can not be held back by cable fame for much longer. Soon, my friends, soon Guy will be legit famous like Emril and you will see me with spikey blonde hair and a leopard-print bowling shirt doing my best impression of him on your monitors. He’s already got a half-face cameo on SNL; how much longer can it be?
This is a new weekly feature on CollegeHumor. I love the idea.
Favorite line from this edition: George W. Bush removed “Giving A Fuck” from his interests.
I too am excited about this. We’re going to switch it up week to week as well, so we don’t burn out on Facebook News Feed articles. The kids really came through on this one.




